Christian Counseling for Codependency in Culver City
Are you so focused on fulfilling your partner’s needs that you often rearrange your life or give up your own goals or preferred activities? Do you and your partner need each other to feel valued or approved? Is your sense of identity tied up with the other? If so, your relationship may be codependent.
Culver City Christian Counseling can help! Work with a counselor to achieve freedom from codependency and to develop healthy relationship skills.
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Dictionary.com defines codependency as “a relationship in which one person is physically or psychologically addicted, as to alcohol or gambling, and the other person is psychologically dependent on the first in an unhealthy way.”
Dysfunctional families contaminated by addictions, abuse, or mental illness frequently produce codependent individuals. In turn, codependent people are more likely to have anger issues, addiction issues, and relationship issues.
The core characteristics of codependency are diverse and complicated, and symptoms can be obvious or subtle. Two opposite behavior scan each be symptoms of codependency, and sometimes the same person will exhibit both extremes. For instance, a person may switch from being overly dependent and smothering in their interactions with their partner, to being distant and indifferent.
Codependency has a lengthy list of symptoms, but the core characteristics include:
- Extreme feelings of inadequacy; lack of self-confidence
- Pleasing one’s partner to the extent that one’s own needs go unmet
- Agreeing to things when you really don’t want to
- Weak or non-existent boundaries
- Overly defensive or reactive to other’s opinions or comments
- “Caretaker” mentality – constantly trying to fix the other person’s problems
- Controlling or manipulative behavior
- Inability to communicate clearly and truthfully
- Constantly thinking about, even fantasizing about one’s relationships
- Obsession with being liked and accepted
- Inability to break off a damaging relationship
- Inability to admit and face one’s own problems
- Thinking the other person is the one at fault
- Intimacy issues; inability to be open and close with another person
- Fear of abandonment; feelings of despair
Codependency is common, but if left untreated, it can generate addictions to drugs and alcohol, unhealthy eating patterns, dysfunctional relationships, and uncontrolled anger. Codependents have usually experienced an unhappy childhood; consequently, they lack self-acceptance and have difficulties receiving love and nurture from others. They rely on other people or substances for fulfillment and worth in an unhealthy way.
Hallmarks of a codependent relationship
Codependents attract people into their lives that are likewise codependent and/or have other significant issues – usually addiction. As a result, a codependent person exists in an endless, exhausting cycle of care taking and attempting to fix the needs of others, while unsuccessfully trying to have their own needs met.
Codependency is complex and will manifest in different ways in various relationships. However, you may be in a codependent relationship if:
- You are laser focused on meeting your partner’s needs and fixing your partner’s problems.
- You feel inadequate, despite investing huge amounts of effort into your relationship.
- You have an incessant need to please others.
- Your current partner is abusive and/or struggles with addiction
- Most of your past partners have been abusive and/or addicts.
- You are emotionally repressed for fear of agitating others.
- You have lost your own identity in your relationship, but are too afraid to leave.
- You have difficulty identifying and expressing your own feelings; you become enmeshed in your partner’s feelings and moods.
- Your partner belittles you and rarely shows appreciation for all your help.
- Your partner’s needs are always more important than yours.
- The boundaries between you and your partner are blurred.
- You often feel anxious or depressed because your life is out-of-control.
Do these symptoms or relationship patterns sound a lot like you? If so, there’s good news!
- You’re not alone! Many people have issues with codependency.
- You can recover! Treatment is highly successful in breaking codependency.
Through Christian counseling, you can end harmful attitudes and habits related to codependency, and develop serenity and self-worth through intimacy with God.
Counseling For Codependency
Do you need to get out of a damaging, perhaps even dangerous, relationship but feel paralyzed? Are you committed to remaining in your marriage, but you and your spouse need to eliminate enabling or hurtful behavior patterns? You can find help through Christian counseling for codependency. At Culver City Christian Counseling we use the following therapies to help you escape codependency.
- Psychotherapy explores your past to identify and address issues that may have given rise to codependency.
- Cognitive-behavioral therapy enables you to become conscious of your thinking patterns, emotions and behaviors, and thus realize areas that you need to bring under control to have healthier relationships.
- Family counseling helps families contaminated by codependency to end behaviors that sabotage relationships and promotes healing and healthy family dynamics.
- Marriage counseling helps couples work together toward a healthier, happier marriage, by untangling themselves from codependent attitudes and behaviors that are destructive to their relationship.
Your therapist will assess your specific circumstances, and devise an appropriate course of treatment. Counseling for codependency usually includes the following objectives:
- Becoming proactive in self-care
- Establishing boundaries
- Ending manipulative or enabling behaviors
- Developing strategies to help others help themselves
- Understanding positive and negative family dynamics and their impact
- Enhancing a personal sense of worth and confidence.
In Christian counseling for codependency you will learn that:
God created you in His own image so that you could have a perfect, intimate relationship with Him.
God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them. – Genesis 1:27
God wants you to trust Him rather than other people to meet your needs and make you complete.
It is better to take refuge in the LORD than to trust in man. – Psalm 118:8
God has a purpose and a destiny for you. He can take even the most adverse circumstance and turn it around for your good.
And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose. – Romans 8:28
God loves you more than you can ever fully comprehend. When you become rooted and grounded in His love, then you become full and complete.
…to know the love of Christ which surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled up to all the fullness of God. – Ephesians 3:19
At Culver City Christian Counseling, our aim is to equip you with an understanding of who you are based on God’s Word and to empower you to live a fulfilling life according to the purpose God has for you. Rather than constantly seeking a sense of wholeness or value from relationships with others, we want you to find completeness and worth in your relationship with God. Once that is established, your relationships with others will become healthier and happier.
FAQ – Codependency And Christian Counseling
Definitely! Many people have codependency, and the rate of recovery through counseling is high. It is realistic to expect that as you develop a correct understanding of God, yourself, and others, you will begin to heal from within, which will lead to appropriate relationships with others.
It all depends on the seriousness of your codependency, how much your life and relationships are affected, your level of commitment to the recovery process, and how quickly you grasp and implement the concepts that will help you break free. Due to so many variables, we can’t give a time frame for how long you’ll need to be in Christian codependency counseling. In your first session, you and your counselor will discuss the goals you want to achieve through therapy. We will be there for you, encouraging and equipping you, for as long as it takes to achieve your goals.
We understand the importance of finding a counselor with whom you can connect and make progress. We encourage you to review the profiles of the Christian therapists in the Counselor Director section of our website and select a counselor with experience in working with codependency and its connected issues.
Actually, no. Men are as likely to be codependent as women, but symptoms of codependency might manifest a bit differently depending on gender. It’s more a case of men often not realizing or admitting that they have a problem, and women being more likely to seek help. Our counselors are here for you, regardless of your gender, age or background.
Contact us! Are you ready to begin your journey of healing from codependency? Are you tired of the endless cycle of damaging behaviors and unsatisfying relationships? At Culver City Christian Counseling we are here, ready to help! Call us today at (949) 386-7179 or contact us online to schedule an appointment.
Get Connected With a Christian Counselor
Contact Stacie at reception