Practical Anger Management Techniques for Kids at School

Some kids love school, and some kids despise it. Many fall somewhere in between. But what about those kids who have anger problems in the classroom? Educators need to be equipped with practical and effective anger management techniques to maintain peaceful environments conducive for learning.

One good place to start is by asking questions. Why do these act out, and what can we do to help them? How can educators and parents work together to manage problematic behaviors, reduce their impact on other children, and maintain a positive learning environment?

Dealing with an angry child at school can feel overwhelming, but it doesn’t have to be. Anger management techniques can give you a path forward and allow you to deal with the student’s anger step-by-step.

Here’s how to get started:

Figure Out the Reason

Why is the student angry to begin with? What triggers the anger? Sometimes the child can’t articulate it, and parents and teachers lack a good understanding of the issue.

But once you know what’s underneath the behavior, it affects how you respond. That’s why identifying the source of the anger can make all the difference in how you deal with it.

To start figuring this out, you can ask some of the following questions. Educators can also use these questions to communicate with the parents about the behavior problems, or parents may use them when talking with the school.

• Does the student acknowledge the behavior problems? Do the parents acknowledge them?
• What do the main people involved believe is causing the anger? This may include the child, parents, therapist, teacher, etc.
• When the child is angry, and you ask them what they’re feeling, how do they identify their emotion?
• According to the child and parent, how does the child manage their anger at home?
• Is the child receiving therapy or treatment from a medical professional regarding their anger symptoms? How can educators connect with professionals to help manage the behavior problems in the classroom?

Communication plays a vital role as educators, parents, and mental health professionals work to help the child manage their anger. The school and family should share information so the child receives the best care.

Make sure that no one just assumes they know what the problem is. A child may be suffering from a loss in the family, homelessness, lack of sleep, a medical condition, or a behavioral disorder such as oppositional defiant disorder.

A child who is struggling with one or more of these issues will probably also struggle to self-regulate in the classroom. Take time to thoroughly assess what’s behind the anger so you can deal with it most effectively.

Diagnoses That May Relate to Anger

If a student has been diagnosed with one of the following disorders, it can help explain why they have issues with anger in the classroom. It’s also possible that they have an undiagnosed disorder. Consider the following possibilities (American Psychiatric Association, 2013):

Intellectual Disability (Intellectual Development Disorder)

The onset of this disability occurs during the developmental period that includes both intellectual and adaptive functions deficits in conceptual, social, and practical domains. Without ongoing support, the adaptive deficits limit functioning in daily life across multiple environments such as home, school, work and community.

Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder

A persistent pattern of inattention and/or hyperactivity-impulsivity that interferes with functioning or development, as characterized by 1) inattention, and/or 2) hyperactivity and impulsivity. ADHD is associated with reduced school performance and academic attainment and social rejection. Children with ADHD are significantly more likely than their peers without ADHD to develop conduct disorder in adolescence.

Disruptive Mood Dysregulation Disorder

Children must have the onset of symptoms before the age of 10. The core features of disruptive mood dysregulation disorder are chronic, severe persistent irritability. Outbursts typically occur in response to frustration and can be verbal or behavioral, which might be aggressive towards property, self, or others.

Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder (for pre-teen and teen females)

Two of the symptoms of PDD are marked irritability or anger or increased interpersonal conflicts and marked anxiety, tension, and/or feelings of being keyed up or on edge. These symptoms are present in the final week before menses and start to improve within a few days after the onset of menses, and become absent in the week post menses.

Social Anxiety Disorder (Social Phobia)

A social situation that produces anxiety almost always provoking fear or anxiety that may be expressed by crying, tantrums, freezing, clinging, shrinking, or failing to speak in social situations.

Reactive Attachment Disorder

The child rarely seeks comfort when distressed, exhibits minimal social and emotional responsiveness to others, limited positive affections, and episodes of unexplained irritability, sadness, or fearfulness that are evident even during non-threatening interactions with adult caregivers.

Oppositional Defiance Disorder

Often loses temper, is touchy or easily annoyed, is often angry and resentful, often argues with adults, often deliberately annoys others, and often blames others for his or her mistakes.

Intermittent Explosive Disorder: Verbal aggression for example temper tantrums, tirades, verbal arguments, or fights or physical aggression towards property, animals, animals, or other individuals.

Conduct Disorder

Often bullies, threatens or intimates others or initiates physical fights or has been physically cruel to people or animals.

Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder

Irritable behavior and angry outburst (with little or no provocation typically expressed as verbal or physical aggression toward people or objects and reckless or self-destructive.

Of course, simply labeling the child with a diagnosis won’t change their behavior, but it can really help teachers and staff understand what’s driving the anger and manage their own responses.

Practical Strategies

So beyond understanding what the child’s going through, whether that be an external stressor or a behavioral disorder, how can educators help a child with their anger directly? The following ideas provide practical strategies for managing the anger issue at school.

Redirection

When you’re dealing with a young child, redirection often works really well to stop a pending explosion. That starts with recognizing situations that might fan the flame.

Sometimes certain social situations or areas of the classroom act as triggers for an outburst. Conflict over materials, spots to play or put things away, or choices of games during recess can lead to anger in a child who doesn’t know how to self-regulate.

If you can catch the problem quickly, you can invite the child to a more positive part of the classroom or a different activity, before their anger has had time to build. The child might not have the cognitive ability to process other options besides exploding.

Remember, redirection works best when it’s used before an outburst. If the child is already having a tantrum, they probably won’t calm down instantly when a teacher offers a redirection. Other techniques may be more helpful once the anger has already built up.

Like other techniques we’ll discuss, redirection is simply one option among many. Not every child will respond well to it, and it won’t work in every situation.

Identifying, Expressing, and Sharing Feelings

Have you ever seen a feelings chart? It is a really handy tool to list and explain the wide range of emotions humans can experience. Sometimes schools actually post feelings charts around the building to raise awareness about emotions and how to identify them.

When you’re working with a child who has an anger problem at school, the goal is for them to start to understand what triggers their anger. What emotion comes just before the anger? For a child to be able to identify this, it takes a lot of effort for both them and the adult working with them.

Sometimes a child may believe they are just angry all the time, especially if they’re older, and it can take some digging to help them identify what that emotion is that comes before the anger. Some children can articulate their emotions; many can’t. Even many adults struggle with articulating their emotions.

A tool called a feelings chart (or simply talking about emotions regularly) can be used to help children identify their current emotion. Teachers could point out their current emotion as well. And it’s important for kids to identify both positive and negative emotions, so they can understand their capacity for experiencing a wide range of feelings, and start to learn how to cope with negative feelings when they arise.

How can you help kids express their emotions after they’re able to identify them? This is a skill we all need to learn because throughout our lives we have to communicate our feelings in an appropriate way to people around us.

Journaling or drawing can be used especially for older kids to help them articulate their feelings. Even the simplest stick figure with two eyes, a frown, and wild hair could help an early elementary student describe their feeling of being out of control. Connecting with that image could help educators connect with that child more effectively to help them feel in control.

Oftentimes, the basic ability to identify and express an emotion provides enough of an outlet that anger is much more easily avoided. It’s important for everyone to have the space to communicate their feelings without being shut down or judged. When the teacher can provide a space for a child to identify and express emotion at an appropriate time, it can go a long way towards preventing anger problems in the child.

Sometimes this might mean a staff member needs to take the child aside and help them work through what they’re feeling. It might seem like a waste of time to take time away from learning to deal with emotions, but in the end, it will pay big dividends if the child is able to process their feelings and progress through the day without being distracted by anger.

So the overall goal of getting a child to express their emotion is finding out what they need. What if they’re really frustrated with a classmate? If you can identify that feeling, you can help them solve the problem, such as maybe moving to another seat, working in a separate group, or offering suggestions for constructive problem-solving.

Kids of all ages are highly affected by hunger and sleep deprivation (as are adults!). If they are hungry and it’s affecting their behavior, identifying what’s wrong might help them realize they need to ask for a snack. This is just another example of how kids can learn to identify their emotions, express them appropriately, and figure out what they need, with the goal of managing

their anger in the classroom and elsewhere.

Self-Regulation

We’ve mentioned self-regulation a few times so far, but let’s talk about it more specifically. When a child gains the ability to self-regulate, they can do all of the things we’ve discussed before seamlessly. Whether or not you can actually see the process, the child has internalized the ability to identify, express, and share emotions in a way that enables to make positive choices.

When you’re working towards a child being able to self-regulate, it’s helpful to have the parents and school work together as much as possible. They can make a plan for how the child can handle the negative emotions when they arise. Once a negative emotion is identified, what choices does the child have for how to handle it?

Here are some ideas:

• Provide a notebook for a child to draw or journal in when they’re feeling overwhelmed by a negative emotion.
• Work with the child to create a behavior chart that provides accountability and rewards for positive behavior.
• Provide snacks, whether from home or in the classroom, to calm hunger pangs during the school day.
• Offer the option of taking a break if a child is feeling overwhelmed. They could have a safe place in the classroom or with another staff member who can take them aside and help them work through their emotions. This could be built into the regular routine or provided on an as-needed basis.

During the process of learning to self-regulate, a child needs as much support as possible from the adults in their life. Make sure the communication and ideas among parents and educators are included in the child’s IEP (Individualized Educational Plan), Section 504 plan, or behavior plan.

Giving kids a context for self-regulation is so important as they learn to manage themselves and their behavior. When they know there are pre-approved options for them, they’ll feel more in control of the choices they make.

Systems and Support

Let’s dive into that support topic a little more. Nothing can replace wise, compassionate support from a child’s parents or guardians, teachers, and staff at their school, along with any therapists, behavior specialists, or other adults in their lives. It’s so important to make sure that a child knows they are loved, understood, and important, even while struggling with anger or other behavior problems.

Even the smallest forms of encouragement can make a huge difference in a child’s life. And when the child’s support people are involved with each other in creating an optimal plan for growth, it’s rewarding for everyone involved, especially the child.

When everyone is working together to communicate and create routines, structure, and understanding, this offers comfort to the child who is starting to change a behavior.

A counselor can offer support, guidance, and advice along this journey as well. The counselors at Culver City Christian Counseling are experienced and equipped in working with families, children, and a variety of behavioral issues. Contact us today to find out how we can help you on your journey to realizing your child’s full potential and growth.