Physical Intimacy Issues That May Affect Your Marriage

Marriage is the relationship in which a couple can connect emotionally, mentally, and sexually. The couple share themselves with one another, and this requires ongoing vulnerability and meaningful connection. There are challenges that can make it difficult for a couple to be physically intimate, and there are some signs that your relationship may have intimacy issues. When that happens, your marriage may be affected.

The impact of physical intimacy issues on a marriage.

A lack of physical intimacy in a marriage can have a variety of effects on the couple. It can cause spouses to feel insecure, resentful, or neglected. When one’s needs aren’t met in the marriage, it can open the door for an extramarital affair.

Though the lack of sexual and emotional intimacy never justifies the sin of infidelity, a marriage without physical intimacy can tempt people to commit the grave sin of seeking intimacy in a person to whom they are not married.

Causes of physical intimacy issues.

Some of the causes of physical intimacy issues that can negatively affect your marriage include the following:

Not putting in the effort.

When you begin your sexual relationship in marriage, it’s fresh, new, and exciting. After a time, sex can become routine and lose its spark. Without putting in the effort of trying new things or keeping the romance alive, your sex life may suffer.

Poor communication.

Marriage requires good communication in every aspect of it, and that includes your sex life. Without communication, you may not know how to best please one another sexually, which can make sex unfulfilling or feel like a chore.

No time for sex.

Life gets busy and exhausting. At the end of a long day, having sex may be the last thing on your mind. Couples need to make time for sex just as they do for anything else they care about in their lives.

Struggling to initiate.

A couple may settle into a routine and roles concerning sex. If one of you typically initiates, the other may feel dis-empowered or unsure about initiating sex. In other situations, fear of rejection or experiences of sexual advances being rebuffed may make it harder to initiate next time.

No space for sex.

If you co-sleep with your children or otherwise share the bed with pets, it can squeeze out spontaneous or planned opportunities to make love.

Poor body image.

If one or both of you aren’t comfortable in or confident about your body, that may make you reluctant to share yourself with your spouse.

Weaponizing sex.

Physical intimacy can be held hostage or used as a reward to control behavior. This warps lovemaking into a toxic and selfish act when God intended it to be an act of generous self-giving toward one’s spouse (1 Corinthians 7: 3-5).

Infidelity.

An affair shatters trust, and it can be difficult to be intimate afterward for one or both spouses. Resentment makes it hard to be attracted to someone. The affair also conjures up the specter of comparisons with the other person your spouse cheated with.

Long gaps between lovemaking.

Some couples can go for months without making love, which can make it that much easier to continue going without or to seek fulfillment of those needs outside the marriage. Regular lovemaking allows for a couple to connect frequently, and it strengthens their bond. The physical and emotional connection sustained through sex allows them to feel happier, safer, and more in love with one another.

Remedying the problem.

Physical intimacy issues in a marriage can be addressed in several ways. A couple needs to learn how to communicate with one another. It can take time, but you can learn by practicing being open and honest with your spouse about your wants and needs. Additionally, taking steps such as keeping your bed child-free and pet-free makes a difference.

With effort and patience, you can restore the emotional and physical connection to your spouse. It may be helpful for you to work with a marriage counselor at Culver City Christian Counseling to reestablish that connection.

Through exercises to help you rebuild intimacy and through therapeutic techniques such as emotionally focused therapy, a couple can reconnect and rekindle their marriage. Reach out and speak with a marriage counselor at Culver City Christian Counseling today to address your physical intimacy concerns.