5 Ways Parents Can Help with Complex Teenage Problems

Are you a parent struggling to help your adolescent deal with teenage problems?

The thought that the little child you once knew is all grown up and wants to rule their own space can be troubling. You wonder how you missed the flight to this stage of their life. Seeing them deal with their own struggles is hard, and you may not even know how to help them, anyway.

Raising teens has never been easy. If you have more than one teen at home, you might find it hard to call for the ceasefire when they get into an argument. Yet, as bad it may look, there are ways you can handle these complex teen problems and have peace in your family.

Who is a Teen?

That is not a rhetorical question, but one that you must consider if you want to help your child. One definition is in line with age; a person between the age of 13 and 19. That’s one dimension. Nowadays, teenage seems to start earlier and end later than it did when you were an adolescent.

Social media connects children so fast that your little ones begin to act like teens way before they turn 13. When you expect them to leave your house and fend for themselves as early as you did your parents’, they don’t. Life’s demands don’t favor them either. There are in for a tough run!

Being a teen can at times seem vague. Your children aren’t sure whether to act as kids or solve problems like adults. Without knowing, you as their parent could contribute to the confusion. When you give them some responsibilities, you want them to act like adults, yet you expect them to take instructions like kids. This doesn’t only happen at home, either.

It is also at this age that children begin to shape their own identity. But, existing systems bombard them with expectations and pull them apart. Culture threatens their very identity leaving them in a more confusing state.

There are physical, emotional and social aspects of change in every adolescent, too. Every morning, teens meet a new version of themselves in the mirror – a deeper voice, extra hair and body shape.  They begin to take on a “more desirable” shape. The road to self-discovery gets even more exciting.

Identifying And Dealing With Teenage Problems

During the teenage years, your child is in a state that allows various circumstances to crop up. Most of them are problematic. It is a rough journey, but you can learn how to offer them help. Let’s go through 5 main things you can do.

1. Pinpoint the similarities and differences

Unlike in your day, increased connectivity has brought more interaction. While this may seem good, the rate at which humiliating news travels is much faster. A mistake that your child made last night goes viral in a matter of minutes. It becomes the day’s hashtag courtesy of social media. Gossip flies faster and the damage can be extensive.

Much of the information shared on social media isn’t decent. Problems get into the spotlight faster. Can you imagine what problems your teen has to deal with? Think of the complex fears surrounding beliefs, family, success and their own identity. All these issues being thrown into the limelight can distort your child’s stability.

Even more confusing is the thought of teens having to measure up to trending standards. Media dictates what a perfect man or woman looks like. Toned muscles and outstanding curves are the definitions of success. That sends a threatening message to teens. If they don’t measure up, they risk being the joke of the day.

Such opinions obscure important values. Aren’t intellect, respect, compassion, and freedom good standards? They were important in the world of your youth, but not necessarily that of your teens.

With the increased level of interaction, your child can’t seek refuge from a bully by staying at home. Social media allows the bully to propagate hate all day long. This adds insecurity to the list of teen problems. Do you see how different the teen problems are today than in the past?

On the other hand, as a teen, you may have felt misunderstood just like your teen does. While you are trying to reach out to your child, remember those days. You may have argued with your parents, wanted them to act in a certain way or even felt like your problems were unique. These are the same teen problems your child is facing today. By remembering what it felt when you were a teen, you can provide that help you longed to receive.

2. Keep communication lines open

This has very little to do with providing your teenage child with a phone and texting them every now and then. Holding conversations face-to-face is vital in solving complex teen problems. Besides knowing the whereabouts of your child, their emotional health is important. Knowing how they feel about a certain situation shows them that you care. How about creating a round-table environment to discuss such situations?

Reintroducing physical communication with your child helps them to open up. Topics that are stressful to discuss require you to begin on a soft note. Being honest about the way you see the world around you can spark a healthy discussion causing them to speak up.

It is important for them to know that you are only human with your own thoughts, faults, and fears. Show them that you are not any different from them. At the same time, try not to load your problems on them. The goal is for them to speak out and know they are free to do so in your presence without facing criticism.

3. Invest in being reliable

Can your child trust you to keep your word?

With so much to do in so little time, there are times that your work gets in the way of a promise you made to your child. When you let them down several times, they say, “My parents never show up.” That’s a relationship breaker. Let your child know that they can count on you all the time regardless of the situation. Even when being reliable seems difficult, it is worth investing in. It helps your child make you the first person to turn to when faced with teen problems.

Consistency at home is also crucial. Let your child know that there is a way of doing things in your family. Not every behavior is acceptable. That consistency helps them understand what to do and what not to do.

While on this note, ensure that you don’t become so rigid that you cannot compromise. Family culture isn’t meant to be punitive but directive. Test every situation as it comes. Some situations will need you to bend some of your rules for a moment. When major teams are playing, your child may not go straight home at the end of the game. If the winning team is one that they support, expect them to hang around the team a little longer. How much time would you allow them to have beyond the usual timing? Let your child know that you are available to listen and reason together with them.

4. Learn their circle of friends

Teen problems are first shared amongst the circle of friends. This requires you to create an environment where you can learn who your child’s friends are. That way, you know whose advice they are getting. These friends are likely to shape your child’s mannerism. By knowing the friends, you will have the opportunity to raise a red flag when a friend’s behavior is wanting.

Keeping your home open for your child’s friends to visit is one way of bringing them closer to you. The idea is not to grill them with questions, but observe without direct interference.

Consider saying hello to them and serving them with snacks. You can also hold brief chats on your way out to get to know them better. If they think you are a cool parent, chances are they will refer your child back to you when teen problems pop up.

5. Find support

Your child may experience unexplained anger, depression, drugs abuse, and disobedience. It is not easy to tell when one will pop up or disappear. That can wear out your emotions. Availing yourself to support is important. The points above provide you ways to support your child and even the friends. When they know that you are available and willing to listen, they confide in you.

Some teen problems are too complex to handle within the family setup. When you avail yourself to them, it becomes easy to persuade them to seek professional help. They become receptive to seeking help from those you recommend. In this case, family and individual counselors are a better option. Where your child feels misunderstood within the family, seek help from an arbitrator.

While it is difficult to raise a teenager, offering emotional support comes in handy. It is the first level of solving complex teen problems; a battle half won. Sometimes, it is a complete victory. Do your best to familiarize your support system with the above points. Beyond this, don’t be afraid to seek professional help. That on its own shows a lot of willingness to keep your family together.