Does Family Counseling Help Struggling Teens?

If you have a teen, you know that moods can go up and down during this developmental phase. So, it can be easy to overlook when your teen is struggling. But when you realize something is going on with your teenager, what do you do? Sending him or her to individual counseling can certainly help. But most issues impact the entire family unit, so family counseling may be advisable.

That’s where family counseling can empower a teen to feel heard, loved, and cared about. And that can give him or her the impetus needed to overcome whatever the issues are.

Four ways family counseling can help a struggling teen.

Family counseling helps a teen acknowledge the factors contributing to his or her struggle.

You might be thinking, “Wait, so if I go to family counseling with my teen, he is going to blame me for everything? No thanks.” That’s not it.

No, family counseling will open up conversation between your struggling teen and other family members who are impacted by your teen’s struggle. When a teen is having trouble with his grades, lying, stealing, drugs, cutting, or mood regulation, it grieves the rest of the family unit. It can cause chaos, create problems for siblings, and make it difficult to identify what is normal and what is not.

If a teen’s family is committed to some family counseling sessions, it shows there’s some willingness to explore how the family is involved in the teen’s life, and therefore, in the teen’s struggle. It may be that your teen’s struggle with grades impacts his younger sister because she starts to fear not getting a grade that’s high enough, which can be a catalyst for perfectionistic thinking.

Or your teen may realize how his behavior stemmed from a fear that you’ve both confirmed is irrational. Nonetheless, hearing him out helps him know that it’s worth the work to find freedom from fear.

Family counseling helps your child know she is cared for and loved.

Even if your family doesn’t see the connection between your teen’s struggle and their lives, a concerted willingness to attend counseling shows your teen that the other family members believe she’s worth it. She is worth the time and attention.

Family counseling gives your teen a forum to share what’s on his heart and mind.

When a family unit grows up together, it’s easy to forget simple aspects of conversation. These can be asking how someone is doing, listening while a person shares his feelings, or taking the time amid a busy schedule to pay attention to what your teen cares about.

If you, your spouse, and your teen’s siblings all attend counseling together, the counselor will give your teen time to share when he’s ready. He may have believed you don’t want to hear how he feels or what he thinks, but family counseling will help you bridge that gap between what is true (that you care) and what is untrue (that his opinions don’t matter).

It’s segmented time away from work, sports, and household activities to listen. Listening goes a long way toward unity and understanding.

Family counseling can invite inner healing and transformation for everyone, not just your teen.

One of the rewards of counseling is that it doesn’t just impact the teen who struggles; it can be transformative for other members of the family.

If you’ve ever misjudged someone you didn’t know well and then you had the chance to hear them be vulnerable or share emotion with you, you develop more empathy. The same is true for your family.

Developing empathy for another family member is a giant step toward healing. It allows families to put aside petty differences and pay attention to what matters most.

When you’re angry or you don’t understand a teen’s choices, you may be struggling too. Whether it’s unforgiveness or making an assumption that isn’t accurate, hurt people can easily jump to conclusions. So, experiencing the guidance of a trusted counselor even if the therapy isn’t centered on you may help you or your spouse view your teen through a different lens and experience the comfort you or they have been missing.

Even if your teen has lost your trust or devalued their siblings, your ability to remember who they are as a whole person is important. It can be the first step in rebuilding trust with your teen. Likewise, your teen may have lost respect or trust for you along the way. She may find that listening to you answer a counselor’s question softens her heart and heightens her level of empathy too.

If you’d like to pursue family counseling with your teen, contact us at Culver City Christian Counseling. We can set you up with a trusted counselor who will walk you through the process step by step.